Homepage > Relationships > Unhealthy Relationships
As a teen, you will have relationships with a lot of people. In healthy relationships, you and your friend or the person you are dating feel good about each other and yourselves. You do activities together, like going to movies or out with other friends, and you talk to one another honestly about how you feel. These relationships can last a few weeks, a few months, or even years.
In healthy relationships, there is respect and honesty between both people. This means that you listen to each other's thoughts and opinions and accept each other's right to say no or to change your mind without giving each other a hard time. You should be able to let the other person know how you are feeling. You might disagree or argue sometimes, but in healthy relationships you should be able to talk things out to reach a solution.
In an unhealthy relationship, you usually feel the exact opposite. Not all unhealthy relationships are abusive but sometimes they can include verbal, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse. This can involve both people being violent or abusive toward each other or can involve only one person doing this to the other. Many times, a relationship is not unhealthy in the very beginning, but becomes so over time.
Some people think that their relationship isn't abusive unless there is physical fighting. There are other types of abuse, though. There are many signs that you could be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship. Take a look at this list of warning signs and see if any of these describe your relationship:
- gets angry when you talk or hang out with other friends or people of the opposite sex
- bosses you around
- often gets in fights with other people or loses their temper
- pressures you to have sex or to do something sexual that you don't want to do
- uses drugs and alcohol, and tries to pressure you into doing the same thing
- swears at you or uses mean language
- blames you for their problems, or tells you that it is your fault that they hurt you
- insults or tries to embarrass you in front of other people
has physically hurt you - makes you feel scared of their reactions to things
- always wants to know where you are going and who you are with
These are just a few of the signs that you may be in an unhealthy or abusive relationship. Sometimes there are only one or two "warning signs" and sometimes there are many. If any of these signs are a part of your relationship, you should speak to a trusted adult such as a parent/guardian, teacher, doctor, nurse, or Connexions Personal Adviser right away.
Our sections on abuse, bullying, date rape, male rape and domestic violence also have some advice, information and link to other sites. These websites have more advice on what to do if you are in an unhealthy relationship.
BBC
Relationships advice and information.
One Life
This site has a check-list you can fill in to see whether you're in an unhealth relationship.
Survivors UK
Survivors UK have a helpline, support groups and counselling for men who have been sexually abused.
Women's Aid
Campaign to end violence against women and children. They also run a National Domestic Violence Helpline. Providing advice, information, support and referrals to local refuges, emergency and temporary accommodation.
Essex Safeguarding Children Board
Brings together agencies who work to safeguard and promote the welfare of children and young people in Essex.
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